Little Yellow Pill

It’s been seven days on my new medication, and this is the first day I have hope they might work for me.  The first couple days back on meds were absolute shit.  I was disorientated, spaced out, tired, dizzy, and more depressed than when I started.  By the fourth day, I was pretty sure I…

I Can Feel The Rain

The view from my office window this morning is hidden behind a thick layer of grey fog.  A slow rain taps on the glass, and the little tear drops glide down the window pane before landing on the walk way below.   For most, it’s a miserable day as far as weather goes, but not for…

Better Today Than Yesterday

Yesterday was a difficult day for me — both emotionally and physically.   The evening was the worst part of the day.  I’m struggling to adjust to new anti-anxiety medication, and the side effects I felt yesterday were the worse I’ve ever experienced.   If you have ever had an out-of-body experience, you may understand…

MayBe Tomorrow I Will Be Free

Hello darkness my old friend… I’ve been zombified…. zoned out on Zoloft and Zoplicone.  One day blends to the next, and I can’t tell if I’m coming or going.  They say give yourself time to adjust, but I don’t think I will make it.  I’m confused and turned around — I have no anxiety because…

HEAVEN is…

    Friday night take out; To go with chilled wine. Barefoot and braless; This evening is mine. It’s just me and the dog; Feet up for the night. Not a care in the world; Not a worry in sight. The phone is turned off; The lights are down low. Wrapped in a blanket; I’ve…

Giving Up Doesn’t Always Mean You Failed

“I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison Another day where I’m counting the minutes until I can get the hell out of dodge, and by dodge, I mean work.  It may sound like I have nothing better to do than blog while I’m at work, but that’s…

Wind Me Up and Watch Me Go

I’ve fallen into a trance this morning, and I like it.  Not a zombie walking, brain eating type thing: more like a real-life wind-up doll trance.  This is a common thing for me when my stress and anxiety levels have been high for a period of time.  It’s probably an internal defense mechanism meant to…

Let Go. Just Be.

It’s 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning.   Like most weekend mornings, I’m sitting at my dining room table with my oatmeal and almond milk latte.  I’ve got a blanket wrapped around me, as I’m waiting for the house to warm up.  I turn the heat down at night because I get night sweats.  Across…

A Battle of Mind: Walking The Line

For me, life is an overwhelming experience.  There is always too much to do, not enough money to do it, and no way to remember it all.  Countless thoughts run through my head in any given moment, and it’s impossible for me to stay on top of them all.  When I realize something has been forgotten, I…

Watch Your Word – From a NON-POET

Don’t tell me what to do; You think you know better than I? You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes; Yet you judge from your ledge up high. Don’t project all your insecurities; It’s not my eyes in the mirror.  The reflection in front of you isn’t of me; You don’t know who I…