A Teenage Crush

You know it’s time to find love when you find yourself crushing on a Netflix TV Series star.  Really finding yourself crushing over anyone at the age of 42 is a sign something needs changing.

I’m new to Netflix.  When I purchased my condo, I decided to nix cable to save some money.  Netflix seemed like a good idea at only $7.99 per month, and so far I’m pretty happy with it.  A couple weeks ago, I stumbled on the series “The Killing.”  Seen it?  If not, I highly recommend it.  I fell in mad love with the two main characters, and I am embarrassed to admit, I had a dream about the male lead — Stephen Holder.

I may be embarrassed to admit this little crush, but I’m not upset that I have it.  I haven’t had a “crush” on someone since I was a teenager.  Not this type of crush anyway.  The kind that makes you feel giddy and gives you little butterflies.  Ok, so he’s not real — slightly inconvenient.  Never-the-less I’m feeling giddy this morning, and I’m excited for this emotion.  I finished the series last night, and then….. I started it over.  What can I say — I’m in love.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in love, and I hope I find it soon.  I’m a bit of a romantic, so this draught (4.5 years) has taken it’s toll on me.  My anxiety hasn’t helped me in the love area.  On medication I have no sex drive; off medication I’m extremely anxious.  I need to find a guy who digs anxious chicks.  I should put that on my POF profile.

I do have a potential date this weekend.  I met a guy at the end of January when he had come to town looking for a place to rent.  He accepted a job in my town, but wasn’t moving here until March.  Honestly, I didn’t really think I’d hear from him again since it was over a month ago we met, but I was mistaken.  He moved to town last week, and he sent me a text asking to hang out this weekend.   I’m not holding my breath on this one, but ya never know.

I’ve been out of the blog loop for a bit here.  My injured leg has brought on a bit of depression, and I’ve had a hard time focusing.  It’s not the pain of the injury that’s got me down, it’s the inability to exercise.  Tomorrow I have physio, so I’m hopeful for some healing.  With any luck I will be running and in love before I know it.

I hope you are all doing well — I will be catching up on my reading soon.

 

How To Spot a Liar

I’m a shitty liar.  I’ve ever been able to master the art of a good lie.  For one, I hate the way lying makes me feel, and secondly, I don’t understand the purpose of a lie.  Unless of course my best friend asks me if she looks fat.  She doesn’t, but if she ever did, I’m not sure I’d answer, “well, ya.” For this reason, I also struggle to tell when I’m being lied to.

My last relationship was filled with lies and manipulation.  So much so, I questions my every instinct.  I haven’t dated anyone serious since the end of that relationship 5 years ago.  Last week, I met a guy who I found somewhat interesting and it became intimate quickly.  That’s very unlike me, after a long stint of celibacy, I craved physical touch.  We had two dates before I invited (he invited himself) over to watch a movie.  We had some drinks that evening and it did result in a sleep over.  The next night he came over because it was his birthday, and even though I was dead tired, I stayed up and watched a movie with him (no sex).  The final date was on Friday.  We had drinks, played guitar, and finished the date in bed.  That makes up a total of one week.

Over this short period of time, I had some red flags.   I noticed he talked a lot about his ex, and he also spent a lot of time talking about himself.  I mentioned my observation on our fourth date.  He said he was over his ex, as it was a mutual break up, but they were still friends.  He said the reason he hadn’t asked much about me was because he wanted to learn about me slowly.  He also threw in a comment about not buying me anything for Valentine’s day, as he wanted just one Valentine’s day that he didn’t have to get someone something.  HMMMM ok.

The Saturday after he left my place, he messaged me later in the day to tell me about his great 2 hour nap.  He then tells me what he planned on making himself for dinner. Hint — he doesn’t want to hang out.  Disappointing because it’s a long weekend, and it would have been nice to have the company.  BUT I didn’t mention it. He then tells me that he is super tired and it’s going to be an early night for him (didn’t he just sleep for 2 hours?)  He added that he would invite me over, but he was just so fucking tired.  Something felt off, but I didn’t want to be “THAT” Girl.  I heard nothing from him after 6:30pm.  The next texts me to tell me he just had the best 11 hour sleep.  Maybe he’s depressed??? That’s a lot of sleep in one day.

He had to work yesterday morning, so I didn’t expect to hear much from him.   Later in the day, I send him a message to let him know I was heading out to see my parents, but to text me later if he was free.  He sent a message at 3:30pm to tell me he was just getting off work.  I asked him what he was getting up to for the night?  NO response.  I noticed I had a message sitting in my plent of fish mail box (online dating site), so I went on to check it.  You can see when other people are on the site, because a little “online now” phrase show on the profile. And there he was online now.  I wouldn’t care, but it was obvious he was on his phone, so he did in fact see my message.

Let me shorten this up.  I sent him a message that I was getting the “peace out vibe” from him.  After a few hours he called and said, sorry I was having a nap, but wanted to know why I felt that way.  FOR one, why the fuck are you always sleeping?  I call bullshit.  He said he was totally tired again, and he was going to stay in.  I later received a text saying that because I was accusing him of lying about not being over his ex and lying about all the sleeping (which by the way, I never accused him of shit — I simply asked), that he could no longer see me.  It was a nice long text message telling me this.  My reply “OK”.

I think I was picking up the bullshiter vibe right from the start. He bragged a lot about his YouTube channel, and he made sure I knew how many other women found him HOT.  Now, maybe it’s me and my anxiety.  Maybe I was a little neurotic calling him out last night after only a week of dating.  BUT I don’t think so.  Even if it was all in my head, a decent guy would want to make me feel secure, not get defensive and write me off.  I’m going to stick with my gut in thinking he was a lying piece of…. I am feeling rejected, and my heart hurts , but I will get over it.  I hope my lie detector is not broken.  I hope I am not just a crazy bitch.  If I am, I have no hope in hell of ever finding love again.

Cutting Glass

We are in the middle of another cold snap with tempatures averaging -15 c.  Not the coldest we’ve seen this winter, but still fucking cold.  When I arrived at work today and walked up to my office, I was greeted with COLD.  Hell ya, two of the four furnaces are not running due to some kind of blockage on the roof.  I’ve had my big winter parka on for 3 hours with a personal heater blasting directly on me, and I’m still freezing my ass off. I normally don’t mind winter, but then again, I can normally find refuge INSIDE.  Ah well, such is life.  Image result for Freezing in the office

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned, it’s been almost a week since I’ve posted anything, and I’m still catching up on all your blogs.  I’d like to say it’s been a lack of time that has kept me from writing, but that would be a lie.  In truth, It’s pure laziness. I haven’t been inspired to write, and I haven’t forced myself to write regardless of my lack of inspiration.  Now that I have that confession off my chest, let me catch you up on my deliriously entertaining life.  (Them there words have been heavily laced with sarcasm)

Since my last post, I have been out on 3 dates.  The first one was with a soccer coach wImage result for A douche of a manho is moving to town at the end of the month.  I met him last Thursday after my fitness class at a local brew pub.  Here’s my review on the Soccer Coach:

  • Pro’s  — not bad looking, doesn’t smoke, has a job, likes dogs, no kids
  • Con’s — arrogant, committment issues, didn’t pick up
    the tab, 5’9, bad eating habits

Mr. Soccer coach seemed to think pretty highly of himself.  I guess in junior soccer, coaches are somewhat of a rockstar to the single mothers.  He basically told me this in so many words.  My response — then date a single soccer mom.

 

Moving on…

On Saturday evening, I met up with a pretty cool guy.  He has a fairly non-traditional job: he makes his living producing videos on YouTube.  I’m not going to mention what the videos are about for the sake of his privacy, but   I found him to be honest, attractive, and a gentleman (he paid).  I liked him enough to have a second date the following day.  However, he has some qualities that might make things difficult if this ends up going anywhere.  First — he smokes.  Both cigarettes and pot.  Honestly, I don’t really care that he smokes pot, but cigarettes not so much.  As a non-smoker of 12 years, I don’t like being around people who smoke.  I can’t stand the smell, and if I’m drinking it adds temptation.

Secondly, he isn’t active and his eating habits are the shits.  Again, I work very hard to try and eat healthy.  I personally don’t care what he eats, but I know that it will be harder for me to stick to my healthy habits if I’m constantly subjected to his unhealthy ones.  I keep unhealthy foods out of my house for a reason.  If they were there, I’d eat them.

Still, I do like him, and I plan to hang out with him again.  There may not be a future for us, but I see no harm in having some fun.  I might even make a new friend.

Besides all my whoring around (the most physical contact I had on my dates was a hug), I’ve started my next course, and I’m still dealing with renovations.  Life is moving along which is definitely better than the alternative.  Time to move around a bit before my fingers freeze completely off.

 

 

Saturday Morning 

  
My real estate ventures have taken up a lot of my time, mind, and energy over the last 2.5 months.  With work and all the selling, moving, and buying tasks, there is little space left in my brain for my school work.  Too bad; so sad… I need to make room because I have a final exam in one week.  

Fuelled on coffee and a muffin — it’s study time.  I wish this course was at least interesting, but it’s not.  It’s extremely boring and, in my opinion, pointless.  All I can hope for is a pass on the exam. I’ve aced the course, but I finished the course a couple months ago.  I’ve put off the exam, so I could get through the move.  Now I have to remind my poor used up brain about all the yawn inducing information that I will be tested on. 

Damn I need to get laid.  

A Date For Christmas

couple, footprints, kiss

This little picky mc picktser has been a single gal for something like 4ish years.  In those 4 years, I have had some dates, but nothing to write home about.  I’m picky…. straight up.

The hardest time, in my opinion, to be single is the holidays.  Being alone during Christmas is hard, but I try not to let it get me down.  To cheer me up , I let my dog buy me lots of presents.  This year, however, it would be pretty great to have at least a casual male friend to hang out with.  I will be in a new temporary home, so I wouldn’t mind having someone to keep me company.  Because I’ve been so busy with selling my house, finding a rental, packing, and looking for a place to buy, I haven’t had time to Tinder or POF.  BUT something has come up, and I’ve got myself a date this Saturday.

Let me tell you how this came about.  A couple of weeks ago, my realtor set up a home inspection of my current home for the potential buyers.  This was part of their subjects, so it had to be done.  The inspection went pretty good, and I only had to fix a minor insulation issue under my trailer.  When I arrived home from work on the day of the inspection, I noticed the inspector’s business card on my counter.  His picture was on the card, and he had written “Thanks Kim” on the corner.  I looked at the picture and realized….

I recognized him.  HE was a match of mine from plenty of fish, and we had talked a year or two ago.  I never did meet up with him, but I found it kind of strange that he had been in my house.  I figured he would know whose house he was in because I have my fitness photos hanging in my spare room.  I mentioned to my realtor that I somewhat knew the inspector he had hired.  My realtor chuckled, and then told me the inspector was a pretty good guy.

The card sat on my counter for a couple weeks, and I thought about maybe texting the number on the card — but I wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate.  Yesterday, I received a text from a strange number that read: “is this Kim?”  Turns out he was thinking the same thing.  He had my number because it was needed for the work order to inspect my house.  He said he wasn’t sure if he should text me, but he chanced it anyway.  LONGish story short.  We are meeting for a drink on Saturday night.

Knowing how I am with men, I’m not getting my hopes up.  But I’m going to try and be open to the opportunity.  Who knows maybe it will turn out to be a little Christmas fling.  WHY the heck not?  This chicky needs to get laid.  Sorry — possible over share 😉

 

 

 

 

Texting, Texting… 1.2.3.

The world we live in has changed dramatically over my life time, and I’m not sure for the good.  People spend enormous amounts of time on their cell phones, tablets, and computers.  Sadly, many people spend more time with their friends on Facebook than they do in person.  I witnessed a pretty messed up situation last night when I was out for beers with a good guy friend from work.

Image result for beer cheers

My friend and I are fairly close, and we both were having a bit of a rough week.  For him it was work stress; for me it was the lack of control regarding the sale of my house.  We decided it would be nice to blow off some steam with a few beers down at the local brew house.   After running a couple of quick errands, I met up with him and we started chatting about his new love interest.  He has been dating this one for just over 1.5 months, and he claimed she might be the one — he liked her.  He was, however, a little puzzled by some of her behaviours.  Several times he had asked her to hang out, and her basic response was, “I’m going to pass; I’m too tired.”  My thought to this was: “She’s just not that into you.”

When I told my friend what I thought about it, he assured me it wasn’t that.  He was convinced they had a pretty strong connection.  Fair enough; what do I know.  Sometime after ordering our second beer, my friend received a text.   He glanced at it, and then said “I’m getting dumped right now.”  And he was.   WTF!!!! Dumped by text? What is wrong with people?   I’m sorry but that it total B.S.  Get a set of lady balls and do it in person for F sakes.  Sure it’s not fun having to tell someone that you don’t want to see them anymore, but it’s something that needs to be done face to face.

Image result for Text message break up

 

I felt terrible for my friend, so I did the only thing I could do: I drank beer with him and let him talk.  It turned out to be a later night than expected, but to my surprise I actually feel pretty good today.  Aside from being a little tired, I feel good.  No anxiety, no overthinking, and no low mood.  Strange.   My friend on the other hand did not fair as well.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that shade of green on a person before — YIKES.

I know he will be fine; he’s drop dead gorgeous and women basically throw themselves at him.  However, I’m still pissed at the level of disrespect his “ex”-girlfriend displayed.  Text messaging has a place, but there is no place for it where the heart is concerned.

Sheriff Pre-date Anxiety

Image result for dating the sheriff

Fourteen days ago, I matched with a sheriff on Tinder.  A tallish, tattoo’d, family loving sheriff.  At least that’s what I think I know about this man.  I’ve done my homework and checked his references, and so far so good.  He texts me “Good morning pretty lady” when I wake, and “Sleep well pretty lady” when I crawl into bed each night.   In the digital world he seems great, but how will he translate in real life?  I will find out tonight.

I have a date with the sheriff, and I don’t know how to feel about it.  I’m sort of excited I think, but at the same time I feel hesitant.  He quit drinking a few months ago, so there won’t be a glass of wine to warm up the conversation.  He hasn’t told me, yet, why he quit drinking; he said he wants to wait until we meet in person.  Totally fair, but at the same time I’m not sure how I feel about this.  I also know that he is living in his travel trailer while his house is being rebuilt after a home fire.  I’m curious to find out if the fire has anything to do with his sobriety.  Questions, questions, so many questions.

I hate to admit this, but I wish we were meeting for a beer rather than dinner.  I worry my anxiety will get in the way of me being able to relax.  I can already feel myself getting fidgety, restless, and uncomfortable.  Should I tell him right off that I get anxious?  Being upfront immediately hasn’t worked well for me in the past.   However,  If I don’t tell him, I worry he will think my strange behaviour is my norm.  He did say he likes a little weird in his women, so maybe he will find me intriguing.  Maybe my anxiety will come off as essentric or mysterious.  I can only hope.

There’s always the chance that I won’t like him.  Although I have a feeling I will; he’s easy to talk to at least.  NOW the big question… what do I wear?