I never thought I would be writing essays at the age of 41, but here I am agonizing my way through an expository paper. I did not go to university after high school and my education (or lack of) has always made me feel self-conscious. In my early 20s, I took an administrative/bookkeeping program at a local college and then work my way up to management and human resources.
Last year, I made the decision to enroll in an online business program through our local university. The first course I took was an English prep course, which I really enjoyed – mostly because I got an A+ in the class. I am now taking a technical writing class, and I can’t say I’m in love with it. I enjoy most of the writing tasks, and I understand the lessons, but there are too many essays to write. Why exactly do I need to know how to write an essay in business? I have worked in the business world for 18 years, and you know what? I have never been asked to write an essay for work.
Honestly, I thought that the essay writing part of the course would be my favorite. I enjoy writing, so why wouldn’t it be. Unfortunately, since I have an anxious brain, I have a difficult time putting my thoughts into any kind of order. I have written two essays so far, and both of them were short – 800 words. Each essay took me two weeks to write because I couldn’t figure out just what points were important and how to make it clear and concise. I try to write out an outline, but that is completely pointless. I end up changing my mind on what I want to highlight, move things around, and end up writing a dozen drafts. I work for hours at a time, only to stare at a page or words I hate. My head hurts, and my eyes are red from sitting in front of my computer screen. I know eventually I will get to a finished product, but coming up with a half descent draft is like finding Mr. Right on an online dating site. Wow, I just compared essay writing to my dating life – that’s depressing on so many levels.
Anyway, I’m blogging about this today because I have spent the past 3 days working on an expository essay, and I don’t feel any further along than when I started. I guess I just needed to vent a little. I don’t remember English being so frustrating back in high school. Regardless, I will plug along and hope I can make it to the end of this course. And with any luck I won’t throw my laptop out the window.