When a relationship ends, it is always better to find some type of closure. Unfortunately, the man I was seeing didn’t give me that opportunity. He simply sent a text saying he was confused about his feelings for his ex. PERIOD. Done. I, of course, will not engage in a texting war over this, so we haven’t spoken since. Now I’m left to my own devices to find closure. Solution???? Blog it out.
This, I hope, will be the last post I write about the asshole who broke my heart. He doesn’t deserve anymore screen time. However, I need to get it out of my system, and my blog is as good as any place to vent. I thought about writing and emailing a letter to him, but I don’t believe that will make me feel better. If anything, it will feed his narcissistic arsehole needs. I don’t know that he’s actually a narcissist; he’s given me no alternative but to guess why he behaved the way he did. Anyway, I want to write him a letter even if he never sees it. This is that letter:
It doesn’t seem to matter how many of your type I meet, I’m still always surprised at how much of a dick people can be. You came around pretending to be an honourable man with good intentions. You told me I was beautiful, smart, funny, and amazing. You sent me daily text messages and called me every night to tell me how much you were falling for me. When I told you how scared I was to let my heart go, you promised you were not going anywhere. You appeared to be the man I’ve been waiting for. I trusted you.
I see now that it was all a game to you, and I was nothing more than food for your ego. You strung me along with false promises and intentions, and then you carelessly tossed me aside when you were full. You, sir, are a piece of shit.
Still, I hold my head up high and love myself. I allowed myself to be vulnerable because I am a beautiful person deserving of love. You may have abused that, but you did not damage me. You made me stronger and more aware of just how loving I am. You reminded me that I am capable of trusting and loving someone. I may have given my love too freely, but I’m ok with that. Just as easily as I gave my love, I take it back.
Lastly, I forgive you. I don’t know your reasons for being a coward. You have your own issues to deal with, and I wish you luck with them. My only hope is that you do not hurt another loving soul in your journey to self discover. Today, I have deleted all pictures of you, and day by day, the memory of you will become distant. Please do not try and reach out to me in the future, as I will not be waiting for you. I don’t care why you did what you did. You didn’t show me the respect I deserve; therefore, you are no longer welcome in my heart. GOODBYE dick head — I’m moving on.