What Really Matters

Sometimes life has a way of showing you what really matters.  Over the weekend, I had my long awaited move.  What should have been an exciting day turned into a stressful, anxiety ridden event.  It wasn’t the move that brought on my anxiety.  It was my car. I hate to say it, but it feels…

Home Sweet HOME

It took me three and a half months to get here.  Two moves, plus six weeks of sleeplessness and living out of a suitcase. It was all worth it. Here she is:    I love my new home.  

A Ship at Sea

“The waves of the anxious sea make it difficult to sit still without getting sick to my stomach.  I get up and pace the deck; I try clinging to the railing for support, but nothing calms the sea, at least not for long.  My medication took away my sea sickness, but it also made the trip…

The Wall

  If any of you have ever run a marathon before, you probably will understand how I’m feeling today.  I’m doing my best to dodge the wall, but I’m worried I ‘m going to run right into it.  I’m tired and my head feels dazed and confused. My energy levels have been extremely high up…

Piece Of Cake

  If I close my eyes and wish really, really hard, do you think it’s possible to turn this Monday into Friday?  I’d even be happy with Thursday if Friday is too much to ask for. My head is swimming with everything that needs to happen before my big move on Saturday.  On top of…

Putting on My Tool Belt

For me, there is nothing more satisfying than my first cup of coffee.  More accurately, my first and only cup of coffee.  Only on rare occasions do I indulge in a second cup.  My posion is an espresso shot with steamed almond milk — perfect!  I’m taking five this morning to just sit and enjoy….

The Cost of My Job

It’s days like today I feel both blessed and cursed to have the job I do.  An hour ago, the wife of the coworker who passed last week came in to see me.  She cried when we walked passed her husbands office: my heart broke.  She was here to fill out the death insurance claim form….

Home SWEET Home

The day is here!!! Possession day.  This journey started with me putting my mobile home up for sale on my birthday last October.  It sold, I moved to a rental before Christmas, and TODAY, I received the keys to my new condo. Renovations start this afternoon; I dropped a key off at the flooring company…

Always On My Mind

I get the keys to my condo tomorrow, and I feel like I should be excited.  I am, undoubtably, anxious to get moved out of my rental.  However, my mind seems to be focused elsewhere right now.  I’ve got men on the brain, or should I say, I have a man on the brain. A…

Blurry Eyed and Zombified

If there was a rope, I’d be at the end of it.  White knuckled and hanging on with the last of my fading strength.  I thought I had a lot on my plate before; now add grief to the mix, and I’m officially burnt out. The last two days at work have been an emotional…

The Meaning of Life

Whenever someone close to me dies, I can’t help but think about what life really means.  Is there a purpose to being here on earth other than species survival?  Do each of us really have an important role to play, or will what we do even matter in the end?  What is the meaning of…

Loss

I saw you just yesterday; we laughed and joked.  You were nervous about the operation, but I assured you it would be ok.  I lied. Words cannot describe what I felt when I heard the news.  Shock, denial, disbelief… pain.  I see your face when I close my eyes; how can you be gone? I…