Move over Summer, bad ass Fall has rolled into town, and he means business. Ol’ Mother Nature has bitch slapped me good. “Wake the F*ck up Ms. SG, WTF is wrong with you.” The cooler temperatures have eased the forest fire smoke, finally. I’m guessing the clear air is responsible for clearing my thoughts. Last night was the first night in two months that I didn’t tap into the wine box. As much as I enjoy my wine, I don’t normally indulge to that extent.
Thinking about it, the last two months have been very unusual for me. First, I began a relationship that I am ending tomorrow; second, I became a Vegan. Nothing too out of the ordinary on paper, but in reality it’s been surreal. Half dream; half reality ish. I swear the smoky air had something to do with the way I’ve been feeling. Looking back, I have no idea why I thought the relationship I’m in was going to work. Maybe it was wishful thinking? I’m not going to write about the relationship or it’s ending because I simply don’t want to.
Veganism, however, is becoming more of a norm. I made up my mind to stop eating animal/animal products after watching some very disturbing Netflix documentaries. I was so completely horrified by what I saw that I had no choice. I’m happy with my decision, and I actually like my plant based menu. But I’ve experienced a sense of loss that no one talks about in the Vegan/Vegetarian world. Maybe others don’t go through this, but I am in mourning.
I have been alive for almost 43 year, all but two months of which I was an omnivore. I loved meat espeically seafood, and greek yogurt was a daily indulgence. Eating out with friends was very much part of my social life; basically, I was a foody. Unfortuately, my city is not very vegan friendly. There are plenty of places to get vegetarian dishes, but not vegan. Dinner over at friends, company hosted BBQs, beach party picnics, and after work appy nights, are no longer exciting or fun for me. Most of the time, I decline the invites because I don’t want to seem rude for not eating.
I’m sure in time, I will adapt. But right now, I feel a bit alone. An outcast; if that makes any sense. I suppose it would be like becoming an athiest after a life time of worship. The world suddenly looks and feels strange and unfamiliar. The upside to my new vegan lifestyle is I’ve renewed my love of cooking. Cooking vegan is so much more interesting and challenging than throwing some meat on the grill. I’ve made cheese out of cashews, pulled pork out of jackfruit, and gravy out of mushrooms. Perfect, I just made myself hungry.
Anyway, I got off topic. Wake up call — Bitch slap….. For the remainder of September, I will be getting myself back on track. Limiting my wine to weekends, starting my next program course, trail running, and NOT dating. I will celebrate my 43rd birthday next month. Getting my shit together is the gift I’m giving to myself. That and maybe a new pair of lulus.