Changing Expectations

The older I get, the more I believe there are no “right” ways to live.  There are only our perceptions of what is right for ourselves.  I’ve noticed this past year that my views of what life should look like have changed.  Actually, it’s only been the past few months that real thought change has occured.

The biggest change was obviously my decision to go Vegan.  I’ve written about this in previous posts, so I won’t get into my reasons today.  More recently, I’ve started to change my views on finding a life partner.  This isn’t a global view; it’s specific to me and me alone, and here is why.

My whole life, I’ve believed in finding a soulmate.  I thought I found him when I was 20 years old.  I married, as I thought I should, and 10 years later I was divorced.  Divorce did not stop me from searching for “The One”.  Since then, I’ve had one long term relationship that was a complete disaster.  I try to look at it as a learning experience, but it was far from good.  That ended five years ago.  I did some dating off and on after the last one, but nothing took.

At the beginning of this year, I made a plan to put some serious effort into finding a partner.  In April, I was swept off my feet only to land flat on my ass a month later.  Again, I got back up and kept on trying.  A couple months ago, I met the guy I’m currently seeing.  He’s nice, but he’s not the one.  This is what got me thinking.  Maybe there isn’t a “one” for me.  Maybe I’m meant to have experiences, and then I’m meant to move on.

I have a good life, and I am very independant.  I don’t need a man to make a family — I’m too old, and having kids never appealed to me.  I don’t need a man to support me financially or to take out the trash.  What I do need is companionship and a physical connection.  Both of these can be obtained without a lifetime committment.  Sure, I’d love to find that special someone to grow old with.  However, I don’t want to settle for someone for that reason alone.

I’m not closing the door to the possibility of meeting my soulmate.  If, by some miracle, he falls into my lap, I’d be thrilled.  However, I think it’s time to change my expectations.

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