It’s been seven days on my new medication, and this is the first day I have hope they might work for me. The first couple days back on meds were absolute shit. I was disorientated, spaced out, tired, dizzy, and more depressed than when I started. By the fourth day, I was pretty sure I was going to toss the meds in the garbage. For reasons unknown, I hung in there and dealt the the side effects.
To give the medication a chance to work, I stopped having my 2 glasses of nightly wine. I know that alcohol is a depressant, and I know I probably shouldn’t drink because of my anxiety, but I LOVE wine. It wasn’t hard to stop drinking, however, as it was making me feel like shit with the new meds. My last glass of wine was on Monday, and today I have felt a small shift in my moods. I neither depressed, nor happy; I’m somewhere inbetween. I’m ok with being somewhere inbetween because it means improvement.
Improvement after seven days gives me hope that things will only get better with time. I’m willing to lay off the wine, eat well, get my sleep, and practice my cognative therapy techniques in an effort to feel happy again. ANYWHOOOO it’s Friday, so I should wrap this up with a little rhyme.
LITTLE YELLOW PILL
Oh little yellow pill of mine;
Meant to bring my mind some peace.
For you I’ve given up on wine;
Anxiety’s hold I’ll be released.
Although my thoughts are barely there;
And sleeps no where in sight.
Hope still lingers in the air;
Cause I’ve found the will to fight.
So little yellow pill of mine;
You’re a symbol of times to come.
Lead the way for I am blind;
For darkness I will not succumb.