Little Yellow Pill

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It’s been seven days on my new medication, and this is the first day I have hope they might work for me.  The first couple days back on meds were absolute shit.  I was disorientated, spaced out, tired, dizzy, and more depressed than when I started.  By the fourth day, I was pretty sure I was going to toss the meds in the garbage.  For reasons unknown, I hung in there and dealt the the side effects.

To give the medication a chance to work, I stopped having my 2 glasses of nightly wine.  I know that alcohol is a depressant, and I know I probably shouldn’t drink because of my anxiety, but I LOVE wine.  It wasn’t hard to stop drinking, however, as it was making me feel like shit with the new meds.  My last glass of wine was on Monday, and today I have felt a small shift in my moods.  I neither depressed, nor happy; I’m somewhere inbetween.  I’m ok with being somewhere inbetween because it means improvement.

Improvement after seven days gives me hope that things will only get better with time.  I’m willing to lay off the wine, eat well, get my sleep, and practice my cognative therapy techniques in an effort to feel happy again.  ANYWHOOOO it’s Friday, so I should wrap this up with a little rhyme.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

LITTLE YELLOW PILL

Oh little yellow pill of mine;

Meant to bring my mind some peace.

For you I’ve given up on wine;

Anxiety’s hold I’ll be released.

Although my thoughts are barely there;

And sleeps no where in sight.

Hope still lingers in the air;

Cause I’ve found the will to fight.

So little yellow pill of mine;

You’re a symbol of times to come.

Lead the way for I am blind;

For darkness I will not succumb.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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19 Comments Add yours

  1. Buffy Devane says:

    It sounds like this good be a slow-burning improvement, which is no bad thing. 🙂

    As an aside, chums and I have had long pub discussions as to whether alcohol causes depression — and what the difference is between depressant and depressogenic. Wine’s never really made me depressed, that I know of… but anxious? Certainly! 😦

    And by the way, you’re “Little Yellow Pill” rhyme? Love it — definitely a song lyric.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Haha – I will add it to my collection of not so awesome songs I’ve written. I don’t know that wine makes me depressed, but I’m pretty sure the hangover causes anxiety which then causes depression. I’m usually ok with wine, but I think it is having an adverse affect with the medication. Prob will go away once the rest of the side effects calm down

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Buffy Devane says:

        Once again, Ms.SG41, you underrate yourself as lyricist/poet/rhymer. 😉
        Yes, I can appreciate that causality of hangover>anxiety>depression. That was probably why the “hair of the dog” (if you know the expression?) lunchtime drink was so popular (way back) in my 20s!
        Anyway, here’s hoping those side effects make themselves scarce ASAFP.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. tilliemarch says:

    really enjoyed your post. new medications are always something scary, and hope that it works out for you 💓

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you — I hate going through med changes. I was on a couple of different ones for 10 years, and I decided to try and get off them 9 months ago. It turns out I don’t do well without them. Sucks trying to find a new one that doesn’t have too many side effects.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Be Courageous and Fearless says:

    I’m glad your in between. Progress is always good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you. I’m still not certain these are the right ones for me, but I am feeling a bit better. Side effects are not great though.

      Like

      1. Be Courageous and Fearless says:

        Side affects are terrible. I’m sorry you are experiencing them.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ms. SG41 says:

        They are for sure. I’ve lived through this many times throughout my life. It’s frutstrating for sure, but I will survive. I hope you are well today 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Be Courageous and Fearless says:

        I hope you are doing well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Saying no to wine is SO HARD!!!! I’m going through that now because of my medication too😔 glad to hear that you’re seeing progress though! I hope this continues! Wishing you well😌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank so much. YES giving up my wine is crappy — although probably a good thing for a while haha. I hope you aren’t experiencing any negative side effects. I’m getting very bad headaches and I’m really tired. Hoping for that to pass

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My “moon face” is coming back and I’m having CRAZY heart burn! I’m beginning to drop the dosage even further because I just can’t take it. The discomfort is temporary though…I know it’ll get better😌

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ms. SG41 says:

        I just read one of your posts. You are an amazing inspiration and lady. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my post 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Awe thank you so much!!! I look forward to reading more of your work!!😊

        Liked by 1 person

  5. summerSHINES says:

    Meds always take longer to work than we expect…but it’s encouraging you are feeling a little better. I really hope this helps you hun 😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you. So far the side effects are tireness, headaches, and brain fog. Some days are better than other. I’m hoping my body adjusts, as I hate having to try different meds

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Samrat says:

    I pray things will be fine for you ! Hang in there and I hope your meds work for you like the way you wanted ! 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you so much. I tried being off meds for 9 months but my anxiety got really bad. They are trying me in something different, so waiting to see if I handle them ok. I appreciate the prayer and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

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