Hello darkness my old friend… I’ve been zombified…. zoned out on Zoloft and Zoplicone. One day blends to the next, and I can’t tell if I’m coming or going. They say give yourself time to adjust, but I don’t think I will make it. I’m confused and turned around — I have no anxiety because I have no thoughts. I’m not void of emotions; I still feel the darkness lingering in the background, but I can’t focus enough to figure out why.
I will count one day, two, three is all I will wait. If clarity does not return, I am done. No more little yellow pill with brain zapping powers. I do not want to go through the trials and errors of medicationizing myself. If I could close my eyes to everything, I would do it right now. I’m tired and lost.
I pray that sleep will clear the fog I’m in. One more day of this, I don’t think I can take. I’m not making sense; not even to myself. All I want is peace. Peace of mind… mind at peace. Why am I so tired? Maybe tomorrow it will be ok… that’s what I will hold on to. Until tomorrow.