Bye Felicia; I’ve Found Me A Rock Star

Why are some men such dicks?  Please note I said “some”, as I have heard rumour there are some decent ones out there.  I’ve recently had my heart completely played with, and yet, I still have a strong desire to find someone to spend my life with.  What the f*ck is wrong with me?

After my recent five week, action packed, exciting little fling, I spend two weeks dealing with the aftermath.  He didn’t know what he wanted; he blamed his ex; he blamed me; he apologized (twice); he ignored me after apologizing.   It was exhausting.  Physically and mentally.  For a person with severe anxiety, the uncertainty and back and forth was excrutiating.  I’ve basically been stuck in a constant rumination that damn near killed me.  Ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration.  At times, however, I became so obsessive in thought, I literally ran myself to almost death.  The miles put on my runners these past two weeks is damn impressive.  My body aches, I’m tired, but not gonna lie — I look pretty great.

Back to the topic of dick.  Funny, cause that is his name.  He doesn’t go by DICK, but he really should.  My heart was awakened after five dormant years, and now it aches of loneliness.  Even though it was bullshit, he made me feel special and wanted.  DICK.

STOP RIGHT HERE.  A miracle just happened….. haha ok, not a miracle, but let me take you back to a crush I had going last summer Read here Play Me A Song.  MR. Dave the rock star, just appeared on a very popular dating site.  Granted I now know he is only 33 years old, so like 9 years too young.  Still, he’s single — the crowed goes wild.

Fuck you DICK.  I’m off to stalk a rock star.

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Come Feel The NOIZE

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Not too long ago, I wrote about falling in love with a rockstar… Play Me A Song.  Now said rockstar does not know me, and from what I’ve been told he has a girlfriend, still that didn’t stop me from crushing on the blue eyed song bird.  There was something about him that caught my attention, so naturally I Facebook stalked him.

We have over 40 mutual Facebook friends, and many of my close friends know him personally.  His band has a ton of gigs all over town, so I  didn’t feel too bad about checking him out.  He’s basically famous.  I simply wanted to know more about him; he intrigues me.  He seems like someone I’d like to be friends with, soooooo, I sent him a friend request a few days ago.  To my extreme delight, he accepted my request, and I am now Mr. D’s Facebook friend.

My intentions are not romantic in nature.   His voice, mannerisms, and sexy little dimples drew me to him, but I totally respect the fact that he is already taken.  However, I like knowing interesting people, and when someone peaks my curiosity, I gravitate towards them.  Hopefully, Mr. D is not getting the crazy stalker chick vibe from me, but I’m sure if he was, he wouldn’t have accepted my friend request.  It’s hard to say if we will one day be real life friends, but the universe is a strange place, so anything’s possible.

One another note, I started chatting with a pretty cool dude last night… it was just a short back and forth, but I’m excited to see if there will be more to it.  The time for love is here, I can feel it in the air, and in places I will not discuss on the internet ;)-

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It’s time to break my 4 year man (sex) hiatus — watch out world…. I have some catching up to do.  I may be all talk here, but what ever, it’s fun.  HAPPY HAPPY FRIDAY.