It has come to my attention that you once again called in sick. This has become an increasingly frequent occurance, and we need to talk about it. First, I want to state that I know your role is demanding, and I can understand you wanting some time off. However, when you do not arrive it makes it difficult for the rest of the team to do their work. You have one of the most important roles in this organism, and without you, the organism can’t function.
Today, for instance, the organism stared bankly at something called a computer. It was unable to produce thoughts. When this happens, it puts us all at risk. A thoughtless organism can not sustain itself without thoughts. It needs thoughts to do something called a “Job”. The job is what allows the organism to obtain the much needed food, housing and wine we rely on. Luckily, the organism can run on autopilot, but this truly is a last resort. Autopilot gives the illusion that the organism is performing, but we all know it’s not.
We feel you are given adequate personal time. What you do on your time is, of course, up to your discretion. However, when it starts affecting the rest of us, we have no choice but to say something. It’s been rumoured that you have been playing vivid dreams during your personal time. We all enjoy vivid dreams in moderation, but when the dreaming becomes obsessive, it is a problem. Going forward, we request that you keep the vivid dreams to weekends. If you must have them during the work week, we ask that you keep it to one, maybe two short ones a night. I’m sure you can see this to be a fair request.
If you feel there is something the rest of us can do to support you, please let us know. We work as a team, and we are more than happy to assist you. Thank you again for all the hard work you do.