Tomorrow marks the one month meeting of the new man in my life. I’ve yet to talk about him; mainly because I’m not sure where I’m at or how I feel about him. This has been an unusual year for me love wise. Not that I’ve found love, but I was getting pretty close a few months ago, or so I thought. For the first time in five years, I had met someone I really like, and I was sure it was going to go somewhere. I dove in head first — big mistake. This time is different.
In respect to his privacy, I will call him JOE. Joe and I have friends in common, and they apparently tried to set us up last year. I don’t think they tried that hard, but I do remember them mentioning his name. At around the same time, I was talking with a man on POF… it turns out it was Joe. Nothing came of our chats back then. More recently, he popped up again on POF, and we made plans to meet. Which again did not happen. This is a common occurance on dating sites. You chat for a bit and then it fades unless a definite date plan is made. A month ago, Joe reappeared. He was at our mutual friends house, and somehow they pieced together that we were the ones they were trying to set up.
He messaged me, and we made plans to meet. The first couple of meetings were quick mid-day drinks. He was nice, but I wasn’t sure what I thought of him. However, we continued to make plans to meet up, and it eventually led to an intimate relationship. Physically we connect very well. We get along, and I do enjoy his company. BUT…. there is a “But”. I’m having trouble connecting to him mentally. He is very introverted, and he doesn’t show his interest in a way I can feel. Does that make any sense? He has told me he likes me, but I don’t feel it. I believe him; I just don’t feel him. He has to be told to text or phone me, and I have to pry his thoughts from him.
As much as I understand our differences, I still have this unnerving feeling he isn’t interested. I know he is, but I don’t feel he is. My brain and my heart are not inline with this one. I really do like him, and I want to give it a go. My concern is my needs will not be met in the end. I am an extrovert. I have introverted tendencies, but I’m still an extrovert. I get energy from talking and being around others. I wish I were more introverted, but I can’t change who I am. My feelings for him are growing stronger daily, and it scares me. One month is not a long time, so now is the time to make the decision about moving forward. However, I don’t know the answer. More time is needed, and all I can hope is my heart doesn’t have to take another hit.
There it is folks. When I wrote about my previous “almost love” there was nothing but thrills and excitement. This one couldn’t be more different. This time I’m on a slow moving love train – destination unknown.