On a Love Train – Destination Unknown

Image result for Lovers on a train track

 

Tomorrow marks the one month meeting of the new man in my life.  I’ve yet to talk about him; mainly because I’m not sure where I’m at or how I feel about him.   This has been an unusual year for me love wise.  Not that I’ve found love, but I was getting pretty close a few months ago, or so I thought.  For the first time in five years, I had met someone I really like, and I was sure it was going to go somewhere.  I dove in head first — big mistake.  This time is different.

In respect to his privacy, I will call him JOE.  Joe and I have friends in common, and they apparently tried to set us up last year.  I don’t think they tried that hard, but I do remember them mentioning his name.  At around the same time, I was talking with a man on POF… it turns out it was Joe.  Nothing came of our chats back then.  More recently, he popped up again on POF, and we made plans to meet.  Which again did not happen.  This is a common occurance on dating sites.  You chat for a bit and then it fades unless a definite date plan is made.  A month ago, Joe reappeared.  He was at our mutual friends house, and somehow they pieced together that we were the ones they were trying to set up.

He messaged me, and we made plans to meet.  The first couple of meetings were quick mid-day drinks.  He was nice, but I wasn’t sure what I thought of him.  However, we continued to make plans to meet up, and it eventually led to an intimate relationship.  Physically we connect very well.  We get along, and I do enjoy his company.  BUT…. there is a “But”.  I’m having trouble connecting to him mentally.  He is very introverted, and he doesn’t show his interest in a way I can feel.  Does that make any sense?  He has told me he likes me, but I don’t feel it.  I believe him; I just don’t feel him.  He has to be told to text or phone me, and I have to pry his thoughts from him.

As much as I understand our differences, I still have this unnerving feeling he isn’t interested.  I know he is, but I don’t feel he is.  My brain and my heart are not inline with this one.  I really do like him, and I want to give it a go.  My concern is my needs will not be met in the end.  I am an extrovert.  I have introverted tendencies, but I’m still an extrovert.  I get energy from talking and being around others.  I wish I were more introverted, but I can’t change who I am.  My feelings for him are growing stronger daily, and it scares me.  One month is not a long time, so now is the time to make the decision about moving forward.  However, I don’t know the answer.  More time is needed, and all I can hope is my heart doesn’t have to take another hit.

There it is folks.  When I wrote about my previous “almost love” there was nothing but thrills and excitement.  This one couldn’t be more different.  This time I’m on a slow moving love train – destination unknown.

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. Isn’t it kind of fucked up that we feel like we have to wait awhile before mentioning someone? Like it will jinx it, and like it won’t work out and whatever. I waited 6 weeks to mention on my blog that Christopher came back for that very reason – sheesh…

    I hope that he’ll get to where you need to be. I am on the cusp introvert/extrovert, and I hear all the time that I am very reserved with people as I am getting to know someone. He’s probably been burned before too. Be patient if the rest of the pieces are there.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Haha that is so true. It’s like having to wait to announce you’re pregnant or something. Patience is not one of my finer qualities, but I am trying. This man is very sweet, so either way I’m happy to have met him.
      I hope you are well. I read your post about MS. My heart feels your pain. I hope for you to have everything you deserve in love. Then we can bring our men to kelowna to drink wine together.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope for all we deserve for both of us. Yay! Kelowna wine drinking! That may just need to happen even without the men…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ms. SG41 says:

        Definitely — I’m in to drinking wine anytime haha

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The only thing I can offer on this front is that if there is trouble in the communication department and both of you cannot agree on an effective way to accept each others idiosyncrasies in this area, it will make for a long frustrating road filled with more of the pain we all talk about on here so frequently. Do this the way you want and on your terms. Be prepared to let it go if it’s not meant to be more. But do not feel you have to accept it as is, connecting is hard a lot of times. But if you keep at it you’ll find one that fits you like a glove and everything changes. I am sure you know these things but the most common fuck up most of us make is that we want it to work more than we want to let it go because it took so long to get to this point. I truly hope he’s the guy you’re looking for and you can find that critical compromise that makes it all work. You are an awesome woman and deserve equally as awesome in return, don’t forget that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you for your kind words and I totally agree with you. I am not at an age that I’m willing to waste time on what’s not right. I do like this guy; he’s kind and caring. A little more time is needed to see if we can find a way to communicate effectively together. If not, I’m grateful for what we’ve had.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Anthony says:

    I don’t think waiting to announce a relationship is about jinxing it, but rather about wanting to explore it through only one set of eyes. Regardless of how our friends/family/fellow bloggers react, that reaction can affect the situation and sometimes our perceptions. Also, sometimes it is fun to have something for yourself.
    As someone who is going to start online dating–or so I keep telling myself, I would love any useful and interesting advice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like your perceptive on this. I’m still in the relationship, but I know it will not last. He is a nice guy, and I want so badly to feel deeply for him, but I don’t. Online dating was not good to me, I’m afraid. I’ve heard many people with happy ever after stories, but that has not been my experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Anthony says:

        I am sorry to hear that your experience was not the fairy tale story that everyone seems to speak about.. I have heard lots of horror stories of online dating–which does give me pause–but those same people say that its a law of averages thing. The more dates you go on, the better the chance you will meet someone. I guess speed dating is like that as well–though I have never done that either.

        Like

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