An End to An End

I’m a little crazy.  I’m fully aware that my anxiety disorder causes me confusion and distress.  However, I know when I’m being manipulated, and when someone is playing games to mess with my head.  I knew this about the guy I was seeing, but I didn’t want to believe it, so I let him back in on Sunday.  This morning, I ended it.

After a week of waiting to find out why he cut me off completely last weekend, he took me for coffee on Sunday to apologize and asked to get things back on track.  I allowed it.  He’s a truck driver and was heading back on the road that evening, but he said he’d call me.  He did not.  Yesterday all I received were short replies to my text messages.  No sweetness, no phone call, no goodnight… It had me thinking “here he goes again; unsure of what he wants.”

It drove me crazy all day, and this morning I had made up my mind.  This isn’t working for me.  It was great for the first few weeks, but then he pulled away.  That caused my guard to go up, and he did nothing to make me feel secure again.  When I told him I couldn’t do it, and I wasn’t interested in the mixed messages, he turned it on me again.

I’m too insecure.  I read in to things.  Etc.  I did attempt to call him, but he wouldn’t pick up.  I’m all too familiar with this type of manipulation.  This is exactly how it started with my ex.  He’d act all loving one day, and then cold the next.  If I asked what was wrong, I was being insecure and needy.  This type of man twists you around until you have no idea what to think anymore.  Not this time.

It doesn’t matter what his intentions or reasons are.  He makes me feel bad, and that’s not what I want in a relationship.  Passion is not the only important thing, so I have to let go.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Suze says:

    you are better off without him. There are good men out there. keep looking.

    Liked by 1 person

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