An Unexpected Turn Of Events

When it comes to matters of the heart, there are no rules.  However, as we age, starting new relationships become more and more difficult. We come with baggage; we’ve been hurt, and we are scared of letting ourselves love again.  

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think I’d ever love again after leaving a very abussive relationship five years ago. I had turtles my feelings; no man had a chance of breaking through the shell I hid under. That all changed a couple months ago.  If you’ve been following my recent posts, you know the love story gone wrong.  I had given my heart to what I thought was the one, and he ended up running.  

He ran and I turtled.   My walls went up just as fast as they had come down with him. He hurt me, and I wasn’t willing to put up with any of it.  I was determined to move on as quickly as possible, so I hit the town and tried to distract myself.  It didn’t work.  I missed him so bad my body ached.  I spent all day yesterday crying over the loss.  

Longish story short, I sent him a message last night.  I didn’t expect a response, but I felt I owed it to myself to give him the opportunity to explain himself.  This morning at 6:00am, he replied: coffee?

This is what I wanted. Him to at least see me in person and talk to me.  We met and he apologized for the shitty way he handled his fears.  He likes me a lot and it freaked him out.  He asked for forgiveness. After telling him what I will not tolerate in a relationship and after coming to a mutual understanding, I forgave him. 

Time will tell if o made the right choice, but I have to try.  My heart wants him, and I think his wants me.  I’m going back with my eyes a little wider, and it will take some time for me to fully trust him again.  But I must be willing to help him carry his baggage because I need him to help me with mine. 

So the story continues…. let’s hope this time for good.  

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. summerSHINES says:

    Wow! That is unexpected…but as long as you’re both honest this time you have a decent shot at this 😊😊 I really do wish you well 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thanks. I’m pretty nervous, but I believed him when he said he was so sorry. He admitted he fucked up. I needed to hear that

      Liked by 1 person

      1. summerSHINES says:

        And so he should have done. I admire people who say they fucked up. That takes balls.

        Like

  2. Well, well, well… I guess there’s still truth in my belief that men always come back around. I don’t blame you for guarding your heart until you know if his is true. I really hope this was just a hiccup!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      I hope so too. He still acting a bit off. So I’m going to back way off and we’ll see.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. SeekingGod2 says:

    I’m so glad to see hope come alive again in you. I truly believe that’s the fuel that moves us. Wish you all the best!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      I don’t know if I have hope or not. Yesterday morning he was all apologies, but since then I’ve had little contact from him. I’m not sure what to think.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. SeekingGod2 says:

        Humans are not like computer code – predictable because you programmed it as such. Either you dive in, knowing there’s going to be good days and bad, or you choose the predictability of a non-relationship. My advise is to be cautious, but don’t step out of the pool.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ms. SG41 says:

        Thx for the wise words.

        Liked by 1 person

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