Ain’t Nothing Gonna Break Me

A very wise man told me today that the most important thing we keep during heartbreak is a sense of self.  I couldn’t agree more.  With everything that has happened over the past four days, I can hold my head high and say I valued myself and my worth.

As mentioned in my last two posts, I’m currently dealing with a bit of a broken heart.  I met what I thought was the man of my dreams five weeks ago.  During those five weeks, this man convinced me he was falling for me and that he wasn’t going anywhere.  I believed him, but I was noticing how much he talked about his ex-girlfriend.  This past Friday, I asked him if he felt he was truly over her.  He looked me straight in the eyes and told me he was and that he was emotionally available for me.  Saturday he left town with a friend, and Sunday he sent me a text message that said he needed space.  Flip of a switch with no fucking warning.

Since then, he has messaged me twice by text.  Once to tell me the reason he needed space was to re-evaluate whether or not he was ready for a relationship.  He told me it was because of my question that he was now unsure.  The second message came this morning.  It basically said he didn’t know what to say to me.  He claims he might be confused, but he doesn’t want this to go any further until he is sure he won’t hurt me in the end.

My first reaction to everything was shock.  How does someone go from falling for you to not sure over night?  I don’t believe that is possible.  Once the shock wore off I felt very hurt.  Hurt that he just disappeared with only a text.  No phone call, no face to face.  A coward.  In between the hurt is anger.  Extreme anger.  I will not allow him to string me along.  If he doesn’t know what he wants then I’m not going to sit around and wait for him to figure it out.  I’ve sent him one text in return — I wrote:

“I don’t know how I feel now that this has happened.  If you want to talk to me about it then call me and we can try and sort it.  I won’t deal with this by text.”

I realize by sending this I’m giving him an ultimatum.  It was very hard for me to do this because deep down, I want this to work.  But the only way it will work is if he truly is over his ex, and he needs to be able to communicate with me — not by text.  I deserve better than a text message.  If it is over than so be it.  I will hurt, cry, and cry some more.  But one thing is for sure — I will get over it, and I will so by keeping my sense of self.  Thank you Mr. Devane for your kindness.  You are in my thoughts.


10 Comments Add yours

  1. I think your response was spot on. Respectful but you let him know that texts are not an appropriate way to have this conversation. I know it hurts. Do try to let it settle though. It isn’t crazy to think he might want to talk about it at some point soon. And if not, then he let an awesome woman get away.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      I agree. The only thing is, I’m not willing to let him play games with me. Communication and trust are the two things I value in a relationship and he’s broken both. I will be fine one way or the other. In time

      Liked by 1 person

  2. SeekingGod2 says:

    I’m so sorry to read this heartbreak. I had my fingers crossed for ya… Close your eyes, and breathe deeply. The inhale of oxygen is new life. The exhale of CO2 is expulsion of death and everything unwanted. You can recalibrate yourself. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you. I’ve been meditating to let go and find my inner strength. I will be ok and stronger for it

      Liked by 1 person

      1. SeekingGod2 says:

        It’s a totally shitty situation, but I’ll be a good friend and pat you on the back and comfort you. But what a jackass.


  3. 3rdofthe3rd says:

    I agree by text is a no no for me. If you care we share. I had relationships like this in the past and if they start texting feelings and do not share it the same in person they need to open up or bite the dust. I am sorry you are going through heart break but it makes true love that bit more amazing when you find it.
    Keep smiling.

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you for your comment. I’ve never expected a man of 49 to end something by text message. Especially one, who the day before claimed he was falling in love with me. It completely caught me off guard. Such is life — we must be vulnerable to find true love.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 3rdofthe3rd says:

        So very true we must remain vulnerable for love but at the same time be cautious. Keep Smiling.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Kalista says:

    I agree that your response is absolutely reasonable. I refuse to be someone’s back up plan or to feel that I am. If there’s a real connection then I need someone who is just as actively engaged in exploring that as I am. Otherwise I know it would leave me feeling used. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your needs. Healthy boundaries and communication are a must!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thank you. It was really hard because I thought we did have that connection. I guess I was wrong. It hurts, but I will get over it. I am proud that I didn’t compromise my own self worth for him.


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