Adding a Healthy Dose of Nerves to My Anxiety

Have you ever wondered what it is like in the mind of another person.  Maybe you are watching someone as they talk to you, and you think to yourself, “what’s going on in their head?”  I do this all the time.  It actually bothers me that I will never know what it is like to be someone else.   All I will ever know of this world is how I see it.   We have such a restricted observation of life.

I’ve always been fascinated by the human mind and how it works.  Primarily, how each person’s mind functions so uniquely.  Some minds are brilliantly creative, while others are analytical and logical.  Some minds prefer quiet reflection, and others need an abundance of external stimulation.   How does the mind decide it will experience empathy or apathy?   What makes us uniquely us?

I tend to do some deep thinking when I’m nervous.  Today, I have to sneak out of work before 11am to attend a job interview.  The job has the potential for a much larger salary, but I’m scared.  I don’t even have the job, and I’m already feeling sad about leaving where I’m at.  It would be great if my anxiety would leave me be for just today.  I want my rational thoughts to prevail over my fears.  First, I don’t need to leave the job I have if I don’t want to.  Second, it is good to look at new opportunities.  Third, I might actually like something new.  Finally, this is only an interview — I don’t have an offer yet, so my worries are premature.  Today is just a meeting.

My anxiety is increasing by the minute.  I have an uncomfortable warm tingling sensation running through my body.  My stomach is turning, and my shoulders are wrapped tightly around my ears.  Thank goodness I’m able to hide my emotions fairly well.  To the naked eye, I’m strong and confident.  I will put on my smile, give my warm but firm handshake, and then I will sit down and tell them all the great things I’m able to do for them.  When I’m done, I will walk out the building with a sigh of relief.  Proud that I was able to step out of my comfort zone.  If by chance an offer comes my way, I will prepare myself for the next step.  Right now, however, all I need to do is breathe.

Anyway, I have one hour to go, so here’s hoping I don’t fall flat on my face or freeze up like a popcicle.