MayBe Tomorrow I Will Be Free

Hello darkness my old friend… I’ve been zombified…. zoned out on Zoloft and Zoplicone.  One day blends to the next, and I can’t tell if I’m coming or going.  They say give yourself time to adjust, but I don’t think I will make it.  I’m confused and turned around — I have no anxiety because I have no thoughts.  I’m not void of emotions; I still feel the darkness lingering in the background, but I can’t focus enough to figure out why.

I will count one day, two, three is all I will wait.  If clarity does not return, I am done.  No more little yellow pill with brain zapping powers.  I do not want to go through the trials and errors of medicationizing myself.  If I could close my eyes to everything, I would do it right now.  I’m tired and lost.

I pray that sleep will clear the fog I’m in.  One more day of this, I don’t think I can take.  I’m not making sense; not even to myself.  All I want is peace.  Peace of mind… mind at peace.  Why am I so tired?  Maybe tomorrow it will be ok… that’s what I will hold on to.  Until tomorrow.