Panic This @!@

Image result for numbness in chest, left arm and face

I can’t feel my face — for real.  I’ve had tingling on the left side of my face, across my chest and all the way down my left arm since 10:30pm last night.  When I woke up to the numbness, I shot out of bed and started pacing the house.  I could tell a panic attack was forming, but I couldn’t bring myself down.  I sat at the end of my bed, completely naked rocking back and forth trying to decide if I should drive myself to the hospital.  I picked up my phone and texted the guy I’ve been sort of seeing, and he told me to relax and go back to bed.

Well FUCK.  Thanks for that bud.  I was able to eventually calm myself down enough to fall asleep, but when I woke this morning the numbness had not subsided.  It’s been with me all day, and I have no idea what is causing it.  Anxiety?  Migraine?  A couple of pinched nerves?  Something more serious?  I would go to the hospital, but I’m worried they will, in a condescending tone, tell me it’s my anxiety disorder.  Why do I think this?  Because it happened to me once before about six years ago.

The last time I had this type of numbness, I was at work and the tingling hit me out of nowhere.  My immediate thought — STROKE.  Yes, I panicked, and then I asked the other lady in the office to call the ambulance.  When half your body goes numb, I don’t think panicking is an over-reaction.  When the ambulance arrived, I was in full-blown panic mode. The paramedics checked my heart rate, and started asking me basic questions like what was my name, birthdate, etc. When they were satisfied that moving me was safe, they put me on the stretcher and hauled me away.   I was poked at, CAT scanned, quizzed, and poked at some more.  Each new face would ask me the same question: “are you on any medication?”  When I would reply, “Yes, my anti-anxiety medication, Cipralex,” they would get an all-knowing look on their face, jot down some notes, and leave the room.

I was in the hospital for six hours.  Six hours to be told, it’s likely you just had an anxiety attack.  WHAT?  An anxiety attack?  I’ve had anxiety my whole like.  I’ve had more anxiety and panic attacks than anyone should, but I have never had half my body go numb during one.  But this was my answer.  A little pat on the head, a lollipop and a have a nice fucking day.

THEREFORE, I do no want to go to the hospital this time around.  It may be six years later, and this could be something completely different, but I’m afraid.  Afraid of their judging eyes.  Instead, I will go teach my class, and try to breathe through the panic that’s been lingering above me all day.  With any luck, this will pass, and I will be right as rain by the morning.  Here’s hoping.

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. Buffy Devane says:

    I’m very sorry… it’s very rough to feel so uncertain.
    I’ve an aversion to hospitals because of lack of faith. Sadly, sometimes I think doctors sometimes just don’t like to say “we don’t know”? 😦

    [Not a particularly positive comment, I’m afraid!]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Yes I’ve been freaked out most of the day. I’m hoping it will just go away.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Buffy Devane says:

        I wish I could say something useful… anxiety has made my legs tingle below the knee for many hours at time. I confess I consulted the internet… a sharp two-edged sword(!)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ms. SG41 says:

        Lol — I Google my symptoms often

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Buffy Devane says:

        Haha, yes, Google has replaced the days of my grandmother’s dusty old medical dictionary. 😉
        I hope you’re feeling more at ease today.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ms. SG41 says:

        I am feeling better today. I worked out for 2 hours after work yesterday, and finished the night with a few glass of wine. Seems to have helped haha

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Buffy Devane says:

        That’s very good to hear.
        Haha, well I think exercise and wine together (though not at the same time!) is as good medicine as you can have for most thing! I’ve had a walk and a run today (not anywhere near 2 hours though!) so will just have to pour myself a glass of red later… you’ve convinced me. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Ms. SG41 says:

        Twisted that arm did I?

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Buffy Devane says:

        Of course.
        I’ll be drinking the medicinal wine under protest… I certainly won’t enjoy it. 😉

        Like

  2. Do try to relax. I bet it is the anxiety, as it is well known for causing numbness and tingling and you don’t have any other signs of a stroke? Smile in the mirror, do both sides go up? Say a sentence out loud, etc? Probably exacerbated by so-so sex and fatigue (and too much wine).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Haha. I bet it was the so-so sex. I’m sure it’s not a stroke, but when it hit me, it scared me.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. summerSHINES says:

    It may not be something dead serious…but it’s a symptom that is sensible to have checked out. Fuck what the doctors think. Numbness and tingling is something that should be looked at…I know the anxiety thing with doctors as I’ve experienced it myself…but a symptom is a symptom. I’m sorry you woke in a panic and that bloke was so crap about it! Hugs darlin x hope you feel better

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      Thanks sweetie. I know I shouldn’t care what the doctors think, but it does make me feel like shit when they dismiss me. It’s a bit better today, but if it isn’t gone by this afternoon, I will go in.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. summerSHINES says:

        I know….I don’t like doctors at the best of times! I hope you feel ok xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

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