“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down.” – Chumbawamba
Anxiety, you naughty little bugger: snuck right up on me when I wasn’t looking. You waited until I was distracted, and then BAM; you face punched me. Knocked me out cold, or so you thought.
I admit it: my anxiety did creep in and for good reason. Buying a condo and getting a new mortgage was scary for me. So when my car decided to act up on the day of my move, I panicked. First my body went numb and then I felt that familiar queasiness in my stomach… my brain was racing in circles and my heart began to pound. I could hear the blood running though my veins, as everything around me turned into a blur. It was one of the worst panick attacks I’ve had in years. So bad that I still felt the after effects the next day.
Yesterday after work my car started making the same noise as it did on Saturday. I could feel another panic attack coming on, but I was able breathe my way through it. I did my best to keep calm and remind myself that I was capable of dealing with whatever came my way. I’ve lived on this earth for 42 years, and I’ve managed to survive, it’s unlikely that will change. After 2, 3 or maybe 3.5 glasses of wine, I was able to sit back and enjoy my new place a bit.
I had a plan for this morning. I was in no mood to hear my car’s bitching, so I cranked the radio on my drive in to work. I was greeted with the ever so wise words of CHUMBAWAMBA. Yes, you heard it here….I was Tubthumping all the way up the hill. Judge if you must — I don’t care. From the top of my lungs, and slightly off key I sang “I get knocked down, but I get up again… you’re never gonna keep me down.” And then………I burst into crazed laughter.
When life gives you lemons, bang on a tub.