The Wall

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If any of you have ever run a marathon before, you probably will understand how I’m feeling today.  I’m doing my best to dodge the wall, but I’m worried I ‘m going to run right into it.  I’m tired and my head feels dazed and confused.

My energy levels have been extremely high up until today.  So much so, I’ve been pushing my body to it’s physical limits.  It’s possible with all that is going on at work and with my move, I’ve been on some kind of natural high.  At work I’ve dealt with a death, 2 terminations, a demotion, and several new hires.  I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me until last night.  Every evening I go to the gym to either work out or teach a class.  The last few weeks, I’ve been able to pretty much sprint for 30 – 60 minutes straight.  Last night, I did a 45 minute full out sprint before I drove myself home to cook dinner.

While I was cooking dinner, I was packing up a few of the items I allowed myself to live with this last month.  At the same time, I was cleaning floors and making lists of stuff that needed to get done before the move on Saturday.  I went through the motions of my evening and basically passed out in bed by 9:30pm.  That, however, did not last long.  I woke up less than an hour after falling asleep reliving the meeting I had with an employee yesterday.  For privacy reasons, I cannot mention what the meeting was about, but I can say it was a difficult meeting.  I couldn’t for the life of me shut my brain down.  From that point on, I tossed and turned until I got up at 5:45am to start my day.

Exhaustion has taken over me today.  I have so much to do after work, but all I want to do is have a glass of wine and pass out.  NOT going to happen.  I need to meet one of the contractors right after work, then go to the gym, hit the grocery store, pick up dog food, and finally make dinner.

I’m nearing the finish line, and I’m willing myself to keep going.  Every part of me wants to drop to my knees and give up.  I’m sure part of this has to do with the monthly timing, but damn I’m tired.

THREE more days.  Please body — all I need is three more day.

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