Forbidden

affair, bedroom, couple

He hands me a glass of wine before taking a seat beside me on the sofa.  He’s close; very close; so close that I can smell him.  He smells clean — freshly showered.  My body starts to tremble and I can feel my face heating up.  Can he see what he’s doing to me?  We’ve been friends for so long; why now am I feeling this way?  I hear him say something… what was it?  I turn to face him, and I realize he’s moved closer.  My heart is pounding so hard, I can’t see.  I can feel his breath on my face as he leans in and kisses me.  Soft. That’s all I can muster as far as a thought.   Soft and warm.  I hold my breathe because I don’t want this to end.  I’m afraid if I move, he will disappear.  He touches his forehead to mine.  He moans and then slides his cheek gently across my cheek.  His teeth graze my earlobe, and he whispers: “I love you”

MY HEART STOPS IN IT’S TRACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to tell him I love him too, but the music is too loud.  Wait, where did the music come from?  Why is there music?  What is happening…… no, no, no — don’t wake up.

I reach my arm out from under the blankets and grab my phone.  I’m trying to silence the fucking alarm, but the touch screen is being finicky.  DAMN IT — SHUT UP; I need to get back to my dream before it’s gone.  TOO late; I’m awake.

I laid in bed yesterday morning re-living my love dream.  I get these dreams from time to time.  Usually they involve my good guy friend from work.  I don’t have a thing for my friend, but when I have these dreams, I end up feeling weird around him for a good week.  The dreams feel real.  So real, I feel I am in love for a few days after.  I’m pretty sure the dream is more about my desire to be loved again than it is about my co-worker — or least I hope it is.

Today is Monday, so I’m back at work with my dream lover.  He’s been in my office a couple times today, and each time, I’ve felt like a silly school girl.  THE BLOGSPHERE is the only place I’m safe to share this with — so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

 

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