JUNK EMAIL

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If it weren’t for junk mail, I’d hardly get any mail at all…

My junk mail folder is full of enticing messages, so I thought it would be fun to make a list of my top 10 favorite subject lines.

  1. Jackhammer Male Enhancement – “Be the man you used to be, guaranteed”
    1. DOES THIS MEAN I WAS A MAN IN MY PAST LIFE?
  2. Deals & Liquidations – “Xmas toilet cover sets, Emoji head rests and more”
    1. I know where I will be doing my holiday shopping 🙂
  3. Asiaeurodate.com – “Get a HOT Date with sexy Asian Beauties.”
    1. HOW DO THESE SITES GET MY EMAIL ADDRESS ANYWAY?
  4. Neurocet Pain Relief – “48 x STRONGER than Morphine and 100% safe”
    1. SAFE?  Well if they say so, it must be true.
  5. Netflix – “Your Netflix Membership has been suspended.”
    1. GOOD – because I don’t have a Netflix membership.
  6. Erect on Demand – “3 Things women Crave (that you can’t give them)
    1. WELL DA… That’s cause I don’t have a penis
  7. Important News – “Science Proves Biblical Cure (Atheists Stunned)
    1. I bet they are.
  8. Brain Power Tactics – “This Genius Drug Unlocks 92% of Brain Potential?”
    1. Question mark?  Well I’m sold.
  9. facebook – “Wanna make up to $6500/month?!”
    1. Surely this is real… Why wouldn’t Facebook want to pay me $6500/mth
  10. Nugenix Testosterone – “You can feel stronger with Nugenix”
    1. They forgot to mention “and more masculine”

 

Junk Mail + Morning coffee = entertainment.

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