It’s miserable outside: gray and wet. It fits my melancholy mood perfectly. There is part of me that wants to skip my workout today in exchange for hot soup and a movie. Anxiety has drained my energy levels, but I know if I skip the work out I won’t be able to eat dinner without stressing about the calories.
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life. Why must you be so hard at times. Money burdens, loneliness hurts, habits hinder.
Why can’t I breathe in newness and let everything inside go? ………………………………..life. Am I still re-adjusting to being off meds, or is this it? Is this when I tell myself I can’t do it. I’m struggling with the decision to phone up my doctor and say, “fuck it, I quit. Give me back my meds.”
Defeated today, but I will hold on and see what tomorrow brings.