It’s miserable outside: gray and wet.  It fits my melancholy mood perfectly.  There is part of me that wants to skip my workout today in exchange for hot soup and a movie.  Anxiety has drained my energy levels, but I know if I skip the work out I won’t be able to eat dinner without stressing about the calories.

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life.  Why must you be so hard at times.  Money burdens, loneliness hurts,  habits hinder.

Image result for carrying burdens

Why can’t I breathe in newness and let everything inside go?  ………………………………  Am I still re-adjusting to being off meds, or is this it?  Is this when I tell myself I can’t do it.  I’m struggling with the decision to phone up my doctor and say, “fuck it, I quit.  Give me back my meds.”

Defeated today, but I will hold on and see what tomorrow brings.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m sorry you’re so fed up…you have a lot on your mind at the mo. Even on meds though, didn’t you have days like this? I sometimes get scared about coming off them, but I have really bad days on them too, so it’s hard to know what’s for the best. 😖 You’re being strong and determined just trying. I salute you 💪💙💝💜💛💚 hugs Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ms. SG41 says:

      I did have bad days on them for sure, and now that I’ve been off them for a few months I can’t remember it it was the same, worse or better. I’m feeling so confused and scared today. Thank you for the words of encouragement. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s a mess inside your mind/my mind, at the best of times. I understand. Being off meds as just as much an adjustment in mentality, as well as the neurological differences on or off them. I think on anxiety meds I’m safe. It’s like a placebo benefit, so it’s hard to create safety in your mind when we don’t have that mental safety crutch in place of knowing we are being soothed by meds. Life is confusing and hard going sometimes. I get scared too. It’s overwhelming and it sucks balls 😕😢🙄🤔😞😒😫 Lots of love Xxx


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