Steam Rolled

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SOMEONE STOP THE MOTHER FLUCK’n ………I’m being gang brained on this crazy train.

The train’s picking up speed, and it’s gonna steam roll right over top of me.  I need a pause button; everything is moving a little too fast for this G.A.D. girl.  The true test to see if I can handle life without my anxiety meds is happening as we speak.

One week ago, with a gentle nudge from my baby brother, I decided to put my mobile home up for sale so I can buy a town house.  I met with a mortgage broker, and the real estate agent came by last night to list the place.  I’ve already been misinformed by my mortgage broker, so what I have for a down payment is now $2000 less than I originally planned.  After a nervous breakdown, numerous recalculations, and a lovely skin rash, I’ve decided to continue moving forward.

Last night when the real estate agent came over to sign papers and take pictures, he told me he had someone looking to buy in my park.  This buyer has cash and is motivated.  He also really wants to buy in my park, and I’m the only mobile for sale.  Needless to say, I have a showing tomorrow.  My place isn’t even advertised yet, but I have a showing — on my birthday.  Good omen???? I sure hope so.

To say I’m overwhelmed would be an understatement.  A small rash appeared on my face last night: thank you stress.  I’m trying so hard to keep calm and do this one step at a time.  But my anxiety won’t leave the “what if’s” alone.  What if I don’t make enough off the sale… what if I can’t find a nice place to buy…. what if I can’t afford to buy something else…. what if — OMG I’m going crazy.  I know what you’re thinking: CALM DOWN Ms. Smarty.  I also know you are right, and I’m trying.

I’m off my meds, off my wine, off my nicorette…. off my rocker!




One Comment Add yours

  1. Life does sometimes move so fast and we feel like everything is hanging in the balance and it’s too much change to process. Arrrgghh! I do understand that feeling huni. You are being really bold and brave. I’m really impressed. Remember you can make choices. You can always put things on hold if your instincts are signalling that…however our anxious thoughts can’t always be trusted, so it’s a careful weighing up process. Personally I think the townhouse idea sounds great and I am sure you will find something to your budget, but that’s just an outsiders view. I’m not you, and I don’t have all the available decision making knowledge you have at your disposal. Trust yourself. Just try and ask yourself what is anxiety (distorting your thinking) and what is legitimate natural instinct. They are not always the same ❤😘_Love ya lots huni. I have masses of faith in you 💖💖💖 Hugs Xxx

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