There’s a Tear in My

“It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to…


Image result for it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

Friday marks the 42nd year I’ve been lucky enough to walk the earth.  Surprisingly, I’m not upset about getting another year older.  Actually I haven’t thought much about my age recently, which is unusual for me.  I’ve been too busy trying to stabilize my moods after coming off my anxiety medication.  I’d love to report I’ve made it, but I’m still working hard at finding my groove.

On top of that, I’ve decided to try and sell my mobile home.  My original plan was to try and sell for just over what I owe in debt, and then use my RRSP for a down payment on a townhouse. Of course, most things in life don’t go as planned.  Already I’ve been hit with some road blocks:

#1 – mobiles in my park have been slow to sell, and most people have just been dumping them to get out of it.  The big issue is the owner of the park does not sign site leases.  This means that people can’t take a mortgage out to buy my place; they need to have cash.  We also have extremely high pad rent because the owner of the park ups it every year.  Basically, the owner of the park is a real f’ing dick.

#2 – there is conflicting information about whether or not I qualify to use my RRSP for the down payment.  I’m still trying to get this straightened out.  If I can’t use the RRSP, my hopes of purchasing a townhouse are pretty much out the window.

I’m not going to lie… I did cry a bit on Monday.  In all fairness, it’s my emotional time of the month, so likely I would have cried regardless.  The tears were flowing like an angry river when I sat down to work on a new budget.  With my goal to purchase a new home, I need to be frugal with my money.  So I sat down and tracked my spending habits… Do you know what my budget told me?     Go ahead take a wild guess……………………………

Right there under “Entertainment” was a line that in not so many words said, “SMARTYGIRL, you drink too much.”  

Damn it.  I love wine, but I guess I love wine too much.  $5000/year too much.  This maybe a bit high of an estimate, but I think it’s better to guess too high than too low.  I go in spurt: sometimes I drink a bottle of wine a night, and sometimes I go months without drinking.  More often though, I’m drinking the bottle a night.  More so now that I am off my meds.  BOOOOOO — I’ve quit drinking and right before my birthday.  Already I have friends asking if they can buy me a drink.  I think that defeats the purpose of quitting drinking, so I’ve said no.

… I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, you would cry too if it happened to you.”



12 Comments Add yours

  1. Alexis Rose says:

    Happy Birthday to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smartygirl41 says:

      Thank you Alexis — As much as I’m stressed about money, I’m excited at new opportunities.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy birthday. You’re strong, and honest about yourself which is great. Well done for being off meds this long. You are doing great 👍😁 I’m premenstrual and having my usual emotional meltdowns 😫😣😕 Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I know. It’s a fucking joke!! I’m wrapped in a blanket drinking hot choc, I’m not letting the PMS in 😂😁

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Smartygirl41 says:

        Lucky girl. I’m stuck at work with a massive sugar craving, and I’m doing my best not to go into the office with all the snack food.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Doh.You do well just to hold down a full time job. I couldn’t do what you do. You’re a PMS badass 😊😁😘❤😂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Smartygirl41 says:

        hahahaha — well sometimes I wonder how I make it through life, but somehow I manage. I hope your hot chocolate hit the spot

        Liked by 1 person

  3. SeekingGod2 says:

    Wowza. That’s a lot of wine! Switch to scotch. Same effect, less quantity. 😁

    Happy birthday, darling. It will be an amazing year for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smartygirl41 says:

      Lol… I don’t like scotch though. Thank you, I think so too.

      Liked by 1 person

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