Finding Fun

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What do you do for fun?  I’ve been asked this questions over and over, and honestly, I don’t know how to answer it.  I can tell you what I do to fill up my time.  I can tell you what I do to make me feel productive.  I can tell you what I do because I think I should be doing it.  But I can’t tell you what I do for fun.

I don’t know what fun it.  I haven’t known the answer to this in a long time.  My only goal over the past 10 years was to keep my anxiety levels down while trying to lead a semi-normal life.  I do things that I know I should be doing such as exercise, study, work, have coffee with friends, walk the dog, clean the house, grocery shop, etc etc.  My other activities include spending money and drinking.  Both of which I realize are used to suppress emotions.

I had a somewhat productive therapy session yesterday, and I’ve been instructed to try new things to see if I find them fun.  I’ve also been tasked with daily guided meditation or yoga to learn how to relax my body.  I’ve done two guided meditations so far — yeah me.  My treatment plan includes: cognative therapy, guided meditation, yoga, and FUN.

Who knew that having fun was so hard.

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