Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, I seek solitude. Peace and quiet — aloneness. What’s strange, however, is it’s loneliness that tends to overwhelm me. This is somewhat of a catch-22, but I’ve yet to figure out a solution for this predicament. Regardless, I’m in currently in a space where I just want to be alone.
I haven’t written much lately, as even the act of sharing my thoughts feels invasive. I’m not particularily melancholy, in fact, I’m feeling quite good. Shutting down and tuning out seems to refresh me, which is contradictory to an extroverts norm. I thrive on external stimulation, but when there is a lack of available stimulation, I become lonely and I shut right down.
I long for companionship, love, passion, and physical touch. The more I want it, the further away it seems to get. There is a hole in my life, and all I can do is wait and want. I must return to work now, so I will leave my thoughts here.