I was going through my stack of old lyrics that I wrote back in my late 20’s early 30’s. Reading the lyrics brought me back to where I was emotionally at that time in my life… A somewhat abstract, but accurate account of the beginning of my breakdown.
Don’t rush out of bed in the morning;
Hold me as I begin to wake.
Whisper in my ear everything’s alright;
So I can find the strength to face today.
It feels like I’m waiting for the worst to come;
I close my eyes and I pray it’s not today.
I’m losing control of what’s becoming me;
Can’t you make it stop and take the pain away.
I’m trapped between the shadows that surround me;
They hold me closer every day.
They blind me from the way I feel things;
Now I no longer feel in any way. I no longer feel in any way.
A brief insight:
My anxiety disorder was taking over my life and I had no idea what was happening to me. I did horrible things that made me feel bad about myself, and I felt like I had no control over my life. I wrote this song in the early morning, while standing under a scoulding hot shower. My husband was still in bed asleep, and all I wanted was for him to wrap me in his arms and tell me he could make it better. I knew he couldn’t
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