Keeping my spirits up in the real world has been a bit tricker than I expected, but I’m not giving up. I do, however, feel that today has it in for me. A nasty co-worker, an email from my ex, and a mind game attempt from an online dating asshole have all been the source of my angst this afternoon.
I could feel my anxiety start to swell with each small blow. By the time I realized I was getting worked up, my shoulders were rubbing up against my ears. The blessing? I did realize it, and it’s not going to get me. None of the irritants of this day are worth getting worked up about, so I need to keep my eye on the prize and shake it off.
Because I have been feeling so good, I briefly forgot that I’m still susceptible to anxiety. GAD doesn’t just go away because I don’t want it any more. If anything, now that I’m off meds, I need to be able to see my triggers coming before they set me off. I need to be mindful of my thoughts and redirect them when they start driving themselves haphazardly around in my head. RED LIGHT – STOP! Ya, you heard me you pesty fearing invoking internal dialogue. GET out of my head; I have more important things to think about. I acknowledge your presence, but now I’m asking you to leave. Thank you.
I still have so much to relearn about living med free. The world hasn’t changed, and I will likely have to work hard to manage my fears and worries without my shield of drugs. I can do it though, and I will. If I change the way I think, I can change the way I feel.