Mind Control

Keeping my spirits up in the real world has been a bit tricker than I expected, but I’m not giving up.  I do, however, feel that today has it in for me.  A nasty co-worker, an email from my ex, and a mind game attempt from an online dating asshole have all been the source of my angst this afternoon.

I could feel my anxiety start to swell with each small blow.  By the time I realized I was getting worked up, my shoulders were rubbing up against my ears.  The blessing?  I did realize it, and it’s not going to get me.  None of the irritants of this day are worth getting worked up about, so I need to keep my eye on the prize and shake it off.

Because I have been feeling so good, I briefly forgot that I’m still susceptible to anxiety.  GAD doesn’t just go away because I don’t want it any more.  If anything, now that I’m off meds, I need to be able to see my triggers coming before they set me off.   I need to be mindful of my thoughts and redirect them when they start driving themselves haphazardly around in my head.  RED LIGHT – STOP!  Ya, you heard me you pesty fearing invoking internal dialogue.  GET out of my head; I have more important things to think about.  I acknowledge your presence, but now I’m asking you to leave.  Thank you.

I still have so much to relearn about living med free.  The world hasn’t changed, and I will likely have to work hard to manage my fears and worries without my shield of drugs.  I can do it though, and I will.  If I change the way I think, I can change the way I feel.






6 Comments Add yours

  1. SeekingGod2 says:

    Glad you can stop your mind from spinning weirdly. You’re doing so well! Hang in there!


    1. Smartygirl41 says:

      Thanks, I had a bit of a freak out this morning… but I think I know what’s going on, so I’m looking at options to help. Hope you are well

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to the post minus the taking medication. I have anxiety and it is hard to get the worrisome thoughts out of my head and keep them from building up. Everyday is a battle with he thoughts but it gets better. Keep working at it everyday. You can do it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smartygirl41 says:

      Thank you. Today was a tough one. I hope you are worry free tonight

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Worries are still there but it is a battle everyday. I have my ups and downs. It is nice to see someone who is going through similar things because sometimes I feel my friends just do not get it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Smartygirl41 says:

        It’s hard for people who haven’t had to deal with mental health issues to understand.


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