Sometimes you just have to wonder what if.
Five days a week I sit at my desk and listen to the flicker of the fluorescent lights above me, as I count the minutes down before quitting time. I wade through endless emails, type reports, and sit through long drawn-out meetings. This is my life as a 9 to 5er. I’m stuck in the proverbial rat-race of career success. I have chased a career with hopes of living a comfortable life, yet my days are filled with stess and worry. I assumed the harder I worked the farther I would get, but instead I can’t keep up with the more educated youth entering the workforce. I aim to achieve career success; however, with every upward move, I feel less adequate. So, now I wonder: what would it be like if…
- …I sold my home and paid off all my debt. If I were free to choose another path, what would it be? Would I move to a smaller community and live as a minimalist? Would I take out a student loan and go to culinary school, or would I learn to be a writer and become a novelist?
- …I won the lottery? If money were not an option would I travel or move to another country? If I had all the time in the world, would I learn to speak another language? Would I get the boob reduction (and lift) I’ve always wanted? Would I stay home all day and drink as much wine as I wanted and not care if I were becoming an alcoholic? Would I still have an anxiety disorder?
- …I met the man of my dreams? Would I marry again? Would I give up the hours I spend at the gym? Would I let myself go?
What if any of those things were to happen, would I one day sit and wonder: what would it be like if…
Is there such a thing as total contentment? A time when you think to yourself “this is everthing I want in life.” I am restless in life; I’m always chasing after a new goal. I don’t sit and wait for things to happen, I work towards the things I want in life. Yet, still I am not fully content. I have great friends, a loving mother and siblings, a good job, a roof over my head, and good health. I feel blessed and thankful, but I do not feel content.
I wonder why I’m wondering about this. Maybe I’m just bored, and my brain chose this thought to focus on. I wonder what it would be like to have a brain that didn’t over-think everything. Maybe then I would be content.