What Would It Be Like If…

Sometimes you just have to wonder what if.

Five days a week I sit at my desk and listen to the flicker of the fluorescent lights above me, as I count the minutes down before quitting time.  I wade through endless emails, type reports, and sit through long drawn-out meetings.  This is my life as a 9 to 5er.  I’m stuck in the proverbial rat-race of career success.  I have chased a career with hopes of living a comfortable life, yet my days are filled with stess and worry.  I assumed the harder I worked the farther I would get, but instead I can’t keep up with the more educated youth entering the workforce.  I aim to achieve career success; however, with every upward move, I feel less adequate.  So, now I wonder: what would it be like if…

  • …I sold my home and paid off all my debt.  If I were free to choose another path, what would it be?  Would I move to a smaller community and live as a minimalist?  Would I take out a student loan and go to culinary school, or would I learn to be a writer and become a novelist?

  • …I won the lottery?  If money were not an option would I travel or move to another country?  If I had all the time in the world, would I learn to speak another language?  Would I get the boob reduction (and lift) I’ve always wanted?  Would I stay home all day and drink as much wine as I wanted and not care if I were becoming an alcoholic?  Would I still have an anxiety disorder?
  • …I met the man of my dreams?  Would I marry again?  Would I give up the hours I spend at the gym?  Would I let myself go?

What if any of those things were to happen, would I one day sit and wonder: what would it be like if…

Is there such a thing as total contentment?  A time when you think to yourself “this is everthing I want in life.”  I am restless in life; I’m always chasing after a new goal.  I don’t sit and wait for things to happen, I work towards the things I want in life.  Yet, still I am not fully content.   I have great friends, a loving mother and siblings, a good job, a roof over my head, and good health.  I feel blessed and thankful, but I do not feel content.

I wonder why I’m wondering about this.  Maybe I’m just bored, and my brain chose this thought to focus on.   I wonder what it would be like to have a brain that didn’t over-think everything.  Maybe then I would be content.


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