The view from my office is nothing short of spectacular. I work in a building that sits atop the city, which is surrounded by miles of mountains and sky. It’s amazing I get any thing done with these floor-to-ceiling windows that make up the whole two floors of the building. I remember the day of my interview; I was invited into one of the boardrooms, and all I could think was WOW. There is a good possibility the view was the deciding factor in me accepting the job offer.
I took this job almost two years ago, and like any jobs it has had it’s challenges. In human resources I face many stressful situations; many of them are hard to leave at the door. I’m a counselor, manager, administrator, ambassador, complaints department, party planner, bad news spokesperson, trainer, and legal advisor. Of course, I’m not trained in counseling or law, but I must know how to play the part. With the many hats I need to wear throughout my day, I often forget to enjoy the view.
Today when I booted up my computer, I noticed a glare on my screen. Since the weather has been rather grey over the past few weeks, my blinds were drawn, and the welcomed sun was shinning into my office. Just as I was about to pull the blinds down, something stopped me. There I was 30 minutes early for work and I was all business right away. My daily tasks already listed in my notebook just waiting to be ticked off. My breakfast and coffee sitting off to the side to be eaten as I worked. How funny I come to work early to give myself time to settle in, yet I’m off to the races before I’ve checked my saddle.
What was it that stopped me? It was the small glint of sunbeams that touched my cheek. This little ray of light froze me in my tracks and whispered “take notice.” So, instead of throwing myself into work, I moved my breakfast to the side of my desk facing the window, and I took a moment. A moment for myself to enjoy the view. I watched the miniture cars leaving the city limits and wondered what fun adventure lay ahead for it’s passangers. I soaked up the sun’s warmth and felt myself relax. My breathing slowed and my shoulders dropped away from my ears. I could smell the strong aroma of my almond milk latte, and my cinnamon dusted oatmeal. All of my senses came to life, as I sat and enjoyed my breakfast. This is what living is about – all the little moments when we are fully aware.
I wrote a blog post not too long ago titled “A Sunrise of Clarity”. The morning before I wrote the post, I had experienced a similar message from the universe to “JUST BE”. I was told to stop the never-ending chatter in my head and pay attention to my surroundings – slow down and smell the roses so to speak. Because I have to work so hard to manage my anxiety disorder, I tend to get focused on the job at hand. A sense of order grounds me by giving my busy mind a road to follow. Sometimes, however, this leads to “all-work — no-play”, which doesn’t really fit with my mischievous personality. The person underneath the anxiety is carefree and spontaneous. She finds humour in the world and loves unconditionally. She’s trusting, kind, generous, and high-spirited. Although the anxiety can mask my true nature, I am still here peaking through.
Managing a mental health condition is no easy task, but it is possible. It’s possible to find a balance of self-control and effervescents. All it takes is a positive mind, a little planning, and an office (or room) with a view!