Happily ever after – not my usual train of thought before going on a first date. For the most part, my biggest first date wish is – survival. Today, however, is not like most pre-date anxiety. The feeling I have is completely foreign to me; hard to explain. Could it be I’m feeling excited about it?
How this date came to be is much like any others I go on – but with a twist. Yesterday, I was bored, and when I’m bored I check my online dating messages. There were five messages in my inbox – not one I would reply to. Occassionally if I’m really bored, I do a search for men in my area to see if there are any new profiles. On the first page of my search I spot someone I find extremely attractive (very rare). I click on his profile and notice he has no kids – good sign. I scroll down to the about me section and it reads:
“Me: Passionate, masculine, physical, active, caring, intelligent, sensitive, hard working, financially secure, single!!
“You: Confident, classy, active womane with her own opinions on life and the world, who can express her wants and needs while caring about others…”
I immediately think “this must be a fake profile,” and am I classy? Maybe I have message him before, and I don’t remember. What if I messaged him, and he didn’t respond to me. Should I message him? I don’t want to seem desperate, but wow he seems great. Should I message, or no? I just about decided on “no”, when I changed my mind and wrote:
Hi – I found your profile really great, and I’d love to chat. If I’ve messaged you before I’m sorry. Your profile looks familiar, but I can’t remember if I messaged you. If you’re interested in chatting or meeting up, great – If not, have a great day anyway 🙂
As soon as I hit “send”, I second guess myself. Did I sound needed, weird, desperate? Why does dating have to be so difficult. I pretty much talk myself into believing there is no way he will respond when, to my surprise, he messaged me back. Apparently, he is new to online dating, and so far he hasn’t enjoyed it. He tells me he read my profile and really like it. So short story even shorter – we are meeting tonight for a drink.
What if he is the one? Is it even a possibility? I truly can’t remember the last time I was excited about a date. This man not only has great looks, but also seems to have a great personality. He seems genuine. Of course, I have been wrong in the past, which is the main reason I no longer get my hopes up. But this once, I think I will allow myself the thrill of anticipation.
Now comes the hard part. WHAT DO I WEAR? Do I dress up or go casual? Hair up or down? Heels or flats? These decisions could make or break the rest of my life!!!!!!!!!!!
OK – maybe that’s being a little dramatic, but I want to put my best foot forward on this one. I realize I must be myself; otherwise, what’s the point. The only way for true potential is showing off the true me. But just like going on an interview, I feel I should “sell” myself a little. There might even be enough time for me to quickly run to the mall for a nice new shirt to go with my skinny jeans 🙂 I think I will skip the heels just in case I end of stumbling and falling flat on my face.
The Merrian-Webster dictionary describes anticipation as “the act of excitment about something that is going to happen.” Yes – this is the feeling I have Anticipation.