To Date or Not to Date

If you asked me when I was thirty if ever I wouldn’t be interested in dating, I would have said, “Hell No.”  I love being in love, or at least I used to.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been single for three years, and I don’t think it is because I haven’t found the “ONE”.  I write potential mates off sometimes before I even meet them.

“Picky” is an understatment when describing my dating life.  I feel  when you meet someone you want to date, you should just be instantly attracted to them.  Maybe this isn’t how it is when you get older.  I can’t remember the last time I went on a date and didn’t have one or more of these thoughts:

  • Too short
  • Too fat
  • Too thin
  • No sense of humour
  • Lives too far away
  • Drinks too much
  • Drinks too little
  • Can’t pronounce Quinoa
  • Too educationed
  • Too dumb
  • Missing a big toe
  • Too in to himself
  • No self-esteem
  • Too young
  • Too Old
  • Has kids, recently separated, smells funny, no job…



How can I be so picky when I, myself, am no where near perfect.  I don’t know when this happened to me either.  Looking back at all of my ex’s, I have no idea how they made it past the first coffee date.  Is it because of my ex’s that I now have a long list of deal-breakers?  Who knows.

I’m pretty sure I want to be in love; I want to have the feeling of lust and excitement that goes along with finding a new partner.  But, I can’t seem to get past the objections I make before even giving someone a chance.  For instance, I have invited a man over to my place this Saturday for dinner.  It will be our fourth date, and honestly, the only reason I  invited him over is to see if I’d be more INTO him if I were in a more comfortable setting.  It’s Thursday today, and I’ve been toying with the idea of cancelling.  THIS is not how I should feel about dating – But it is.

A co-worker told me today that everything will change once I find a man that can break through my tough shell.  His analysis of my unusual outlook on dating is that I’ve become hardened from past experiences.  Maybe so, but how does one change that? It’s not like it was a conscious choice.

All I want is a tall, dark, hansome man with a great sense of humour, a great job, no kids, who won’t make me make any sacrifies in my own life.  IS that too much to ask?  Ok, I know it is, but I’m hoping I can at least tick off some of those boxes. Wouldn’t it be great if you could see your future?  I’d look to see if Mr. Right was just around the corner, or if I should just give up the search and put my energy elsewhere.





2 Comments Add yours

  1. Pat Torello says:

    Great blog! Your posts are just the right length and they are insightful and meaningful, plus entertaining and humorous, great combination. Thanks for following, and I’m glad to have found yours. I have generalized anxiety disorder so I relate!


    1. Smartygirl41 says:

      Thank so much Pat, as a new blogger and writer I appreciate your comments.


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