Forty and No Kids

“You don’t know what you are missing.”  As a childless woman, these are words you will hear many times over your lifetime.   Well-meaning parents feel it’s their duty to reform the childless people of the world.  They assume that if you only knew what it was like, you would change your mind and reproduce like “normal people” do.  Deciding to focus on a career instead of having a family is a difficult choice to make, but I made it, and I’m happy I did.

I realize that it is possible to do both – family and career, but I also think that trying to put too many eggs in the basket can be counter productive.  Yes, I will miss out on the unconditional love that goes with being a parent, and  I will not look into the eyes of a child and be able to say, “I made that.”   But like many things in life that I will not be able to experience, I am ok it.  We only have one life, and it is impossible to do everything.  I have chosen my path with no regrets.

I am a 41-year-old career woman, currently single, and a loving mother to a three-year- old jack russell.  I am the human resource manager for a large company, and I teach fitness classes in my spare time – just because I can.  Last year I decided that I wanted to go back to school, so now I take online courses through our local university.   I have a full life, and I am happy.

Some women know that they want to be a mom from an early age.  This was not the case for me.  As a matter of fact, I don’t think I ever really wanted to have them.  There were times in my life when I was afraid of growing old and being alone, but that was not reason enough for me.  So one day I wrote out a list of how I felt about having kids.  HERE IT IS…

  1. I do not possess a “biological clock”
  2. I’m getting too old
  3. I enjoy sleeping when ever I feel like it
  4. I’m fairly selfish with my time, and giving up my on activities I enjoy would make me resentful
  5. I don’t enjoy colouring or playing cars
  6. I like my independence
  7. I don’t like pain
  8. Stretch marks (Ok, I have stretch marks, but I don’t want any more)
  9. I like being able to see my toes and shave my legs.
  10. I don’t want to go 9 or 10 months without wine 😦

Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is a beautiful thing, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for the “moms” of the world.  I have a mother of my own, and she means the world to me.   I am actually the only person in my family that doesn’t have children, so I have seen up close what having a family means.

Motherhood is not for everyone; it doesn’t make a women less of a women because she decided to chose a different path.




One Comment Add yours

  1. I love that last paragraph. That explains so much in so few words – which hopefully someday everyone will agree with.


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